Ever been in love with a total stranger? Not knowing anything about her but yearn to know everything. I HAVE!! Till now, I still didn't get to know her. And worst of it, I don't even know where she is now. It's been more than 10 years. Never would I expect this feeling to last so long. Yet it did. Is this a good or bad thing? I really do wonder.
Seems like it was just not long ago, the very first time I saw you. I could never forget that face and that look. Though you might not be the kind of drop dead gorgeous that others would be captivated by, to some you may be just an ordinary looking lady. But in my eyes YOU ARE A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, and someone that had caught hold of my heart ever since. Would you like to return it to me????
Through observation, I notice on your working days you would walk past at that timing, and I would always try find opportunity to wait by the door for you so I could get a glimpse of you. Though it would always be that few seconds, but that would be the happiest time of the day. Do you know that? Everyday I would really look forward to that time of the day especially when things doesn't go right for me. Just being able to look at that stern but lovely face of yours, and sometimes with a bonus, YOUR SMILE (though not smiling at me) everything would seems be so right and fine all of sudden, just in that moment. Yeah, it sounds nonsensical but TRUE. You really made my day. But, I'm really puzzled till now, why were you always staring at me? Guilty conscience I guess, initially, I thought I was paranoid. But turns out, my colleagues came to ask me too, "why is this lady always staring at you". I never knew how to answer them as I too don't know the answer (I know very well, it's not because you know that I like you). I tried smiling at you, but I didn't get any reaction from you. Sometimes I would think that you were just staring into space yet you weren't. So what was it that you were staring at? This will always be a mystery to me.
For 2 years, I've been trying to get to know you, I really wanted to say "hi" to you. No matter how prepared I am, whenever I see you, my mouth ran away. Finally, it came to that day. Seriously, I don't know what overcame me on that day, all I had in my mind was wanting to know you. But I never would have thought that a neighbor offering you a bottle of herbal tea on a hot day would scare you away. And based on your reaction, I know for sure that you never realized that I have been in love with you for 2 years. Don't worry, I didn't stalk you. I never wished for any thing more. All I wanted was for you to be a friend that I could talk to. I meant you no harm. But I guess I did really scare you off. Ever since then, you avoided walking past. Was I wrong? Should I have just stay the same and not do anything, just look at you from afar? Frankly, if I was given a chance to choose again, I would still have done something but maybe not the 'herbal tea', I might try other subtle ways of getting to know you. After all, life is about taking chances. I will never know the answer until I've tried. I couldn't let a chance slip away. Yes, I fell but at least I'd tried.
If I can, I really wish I to say this to you. E, how have you been? It's been a long time since I last saw you. Given time, I thought things would have subsided and things could be forgotten. Guess, I'm wrong!!!! You are constantly on my mind. I really miss you very much.
