Ever heard of this sentence 'Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind'? Are you such
a person? Not sure for you, really wish I am but too bad I AM NOT.
Ever
been in love with a total stranger? Not knowing anything about her but
yearn to know everything. I HAVE!! Till now, I still didn't get to know
her. And worst of it, I don't even know where she is now. It's been more
than 10 years. Never would I expect this feeling to last so long. Yet
it did. Is this a good or bad thing? I really do wonder.
Seems
like it was just not long ago, the very first time I saw you. I could
never forget that face and that look. Though you might not be the kind
of drop dead gorgeous that others would be captivated by, to some you
may be just an ordinary looking lady. But in my eyes YOU ARE A VERY
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, and someone that had caught hold of my heart ever
since. Would you like to return it to me????
Through
observation, I notice on your working days you would walk past at that
timing, and I would always try find opportunity to wait by the door for
you so I could get a glimpse of you. Though it would always be that few
seconds, but that would be the happiest time of the day. Do you know
that? Everyday I would really look forward to that time of the day
especially when things doesn't go right for me. Just being able to look
at that stern but lovely face of yours, and sometimes with a bonus, YOUR
SMILE (though not smiling at me) everything would seems be so right and
fine all of sudden, just in that moment. Yeah, it sounds nonsensical
but TRUE. You really made my day. But, I'm really puzzled till now, why
were you always staring at me? Guilty conscience I guess, initially, I
thought I was paranoid. But turns out, my colleagues came to ask me too,
"why is this lady always staring at you". I never knew how to answer
them as I too don't know the answer (I know very well, it's not because
you know that I like you). I tried smiling at you, but I didn't get any
reaction from you. Sometimes I would think that you were just staring
into space yet you weren't. So what was it that you were staring at?
This will always be a mystery to me.
For 2 years, I've been
trying to get to know you, I really wanted to say "hi" to you. No matter
how prepared I am, whenever I see you, my mouth ran away. Finally, it
came to that day. Seriously, I don't know what overcame me on that day,
all I had in my mind was wanting to know you. But I never would have
thought that a neighbor offering you a bottle of herbal tea on a hot day
would scare you away. And based on your reaction, I know for sure that
you never realized that I have been in love with you for 2 years. Don't
worry, I didn't stalk you. I never wished for any thing more. All I
wanted was for you to be a friend that I could talk to. I meant you no
harm. But I guess I did really scare you off. Ever since then, you
avoided walking past. Was I wrong? Should I have just stay the same and
not do anything, just look at you from afar? Frankly, if I was given a
chance to choose again, I would still have done something but maybe not
the 'herbal tea', I might try other subtle ways of getting to know you.
After all, life is about taking chances. I will never know the answer
until I've tried. I couldn't let a chance slip away. Yes, I fell but at
least I'd tried.
If I can, I really wish I to say this to you.
E, how have you been? It's been a long time since I last saw you. Given
time, I thought things would have subsided and things could be
forgotten. Guess, I'm wrong!!!! You are constantly on my mind. I really
miss you very much.
